Well, I wasn’t able to call in yesterday, because by time I got home and got the message they had left, it was to late to call. But, I passed. They said my essay was a little short, so I’ll just have to be sure to write a longer one for the actually GED test. And they said I got a four-hundred and fifty on my math, which is average, and since the Pre-GED test is half as long as the real one, I’ll have to work on that so that I can get a higher score, or else I won’t pass the math. Which isn’t to bad, because if I don’t pass that one, but I pass all the others, then I’ll just retake the math again. I can do that twice they said before I have to wait like I would if I missed the Pre-GED twice.
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Pre-GED
Well, I took my pre-GED test today. If I pass it, I can go ahead and take the actual GED test, if I fail it, then, well, at least I’ll know what I need to study more on. The math part is what had worried me, so my grandma helped me go over that section. I think I did well on that part, but the Social Studies part is…well… Some of the questions seemed like I should know the stuff they were talking about, but I just couldn’t remember ever learning them, so I had to pretty much guess for those. Some of the other questions seemed like they weren’t giving me enough info, but they didn’t have a ‘not enough information’ option. I won’t actually find out if I passed it or not until Monday, because the person who grades the test wasn’t there. If I fail it, I can take it one more time, if I fail it the second time, then I have to wait a full one-hundred and eighty days.
The GED test my friend Austin took was four hours, but the one I took was only three, so they must have done some changing since Austin took it, and I think it was only a few months ago. I actually finished fifteen minutes early.
Ivy Tech is alright, but the first thing I noticed when my aunt Conni and I walked in was, boy, it smell there. Conni says it smells like that every time she comes there. What a stinky collage. Haha.
Once I actually pass my GED test, mom says I can check and see if they have any classes for writing, and things like that, then I can take them. I was going to go for criminal investigating, but that was only because I thought I NEEDED that before I could go into the Police Academy, but it turns out, I don’t need to go for anything, because whatever I need to learn, they will teach me there. Knowing someone that’s a Police person really helps finding these kinds of things out. But it sucks that I have to wait till I’m twenty-one to enter the Police Academy. THAT’S FOUR YEARS AWAY! To long…
When It Rains
When It Rains by Paramore. This song isn’t like the usual Paramore songs. It’s not the usual rock. It’s softer. But I still like it.
And when it rains,
On this side of town it touches, everything.
Just say it again and mean it.
We don’t miss a thing.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And convinced yourself that
It’s not the reason you don’t see the sun anymore
And no, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
No, oh, I need the ending.
So why can’t you stay
Just long enough to explain?
And when it rains,
Will you always find an escape?
Just running away,
From all of the ones who love you,
From everything.
You made yourself a bed
At the bottom of the blackest hole (blackest hole)
And you’ll sleep ’til May
And you’ll say that you don’t want to see the sun anymore
And no, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
And no, oh, I need the ending.
So why can’t you stay just long enough to explain?
Take your time.
Take my time.
Take these chances to turn it around. (take your time)
Take these chances, we’ll make it somehow
And take these chances to turn it around. (take my…)
Just turn it around.
No, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
No, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
No, oh, how could you do it?
Oh I, I never saw it coming.
No, oh I need an ending.
So why can’t you stay
Just long enough to explain?
You can take your time, take my time.
Brick By Boring Brick
Brick By Boring Brick by Paramore. Song wasn’t what I thought it’d be by the titled, but I still really liked it. I love Paramore’s rock songs. I find it odd that they only sang ‘brick by boring brick’ once. Usually they repeat the songs title in the song quiet a few times. I guess they decided not to in this one.
She lives in a fairy tale
Somewhere too far for us to find
Forgotten the taste and smell
Of the world that she’s left behind
It’s all about the exposure the lens I told her
The angles were all wrong now
She’s ripping wings off of butterflies
Keep your feet on the ground
When your head’s in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Ba da ba ba da ba ba ha
So one day he found her crying
Coiled up on the dirty ground
Her prince finally came to save her
And the rest you can figure out
But it was a trick
And the clock struck twelve
Well make sure to build your house brick by boring brick
Or the wolf’s gonna blow it down
Keep your feet on the ground
When your head’s in the clouds
Well go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
We’ll bury the castle, bury the castle
Well you built up a world of magic
Because your real life is tragic
Yeah you built up a world of magic
If it’s not real
You can’t hold it in your hand
You can’t feel it with your heart
And I won’t believe it
But if it’s true
You can see it with your eyes
Oh, even in the dark
And that’s where I want to be, yeah
Go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
Go get your shovel
And we’ll dig a deep hole
To bury the castle, bury the castle
[x2]
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
Ba da ba ba ba da ba ba
Ba da ba ba da ba ba da
Ba da ba ba ba ba ba ba
Strange
Strange by Tokio Hotel feat. Kerli. I thought it was Kerli that started the song out at first, but I remembered her voice from Walking On Air and realized it wasn’t her. I haven’t listened to much Tokio Hotel in awhile I forgot how much Bill Kaulitz sounded like a girl when he sang. But I really like this song.
A freak of nature
Stuck in reality
I don’t fit the picture
I’m not what you want me to be
Sorry
Under the radar
Out of the system
Caught in the spotlight
That’s my existence
You want me to change but all I feel is
Strange
Strange
In your perfect world so
Strange
Strange
I feel so absurd in this life
Don’t come closer in my arms forever you’ll be
Strange
Strange
You want to fix me
Push me
Into your fantasy
You try to give me
Sell me
A new personality
You try to lift me
I don’t get better
What’s making you happy
Is making me sadder
In your golden cage all I feel is
Strange
Strange
In your perfect world so
Strange
Strange
I feel so absurd in this life
Don’t come closer in my arms forever you’ll be
Strange
Strange
Like me
Strange
When you touch me
Strange
When you kill me
Strange
All I feel is
Strange
In my dreams too
Together we’ll be
Strange
Strange
In a perfect world
Strange
I am so strange
Strange
I am so strange
Strange
Strange
In your perfect world so
Strange
Strange
I feel so absurd in this life
Don’t come closer you’ll die slowly,
In my arms forever you’ll be
Strange
Strange
Like me
Shutter Island
This movie was not what I had expected. From the previews I’d seen, I thought it was going to be about something supernatural. Well, they made it out like it was in the beginning, but as the guy gets to talking to people, you kind of realize there’s nothing supernatural about this, just a bunch of people keeping secrets. But I thought it was really good. Better then what it would have been if it’d gone the way I thought it was going to. And the ending was amazing to me. I don’t think in real life, something like that would work, though. The human mind doesn’t deal with reality as well as they made it out, if they’ve convinced themselves that reality, is just a lie they made up to keep you quite. At least that’s what I think.
Plot, taken from Wiki
In 1954, U.S. Marshal Teddy Daniels (Leonardo DiCaprio) and his partner, Chuck Aule (Mark Ruffalo), go to the Ashecliff Hospital for the criminally insane on Shutter Island. They are investigating the disappearance of Rachel Solando (Emily Mortimer), a patient who vanished from a locked room. Dr. John Cawley (Ben Kingsley), the head psychiatrist, explains that Rachel was institutionalized after drowning her three children. She believes, however, that she is still home and that her children are still alive.
The cliffs surrounding the perimeter make it impossible for Rachel to have reached the nearby caves. Teddy sees a lighthouse but is told it has already been searched. The Marshals question the staff and learn that Rachel’s psychiatrist, Dr. Sheehan, left for vacation that morning. Teddy asks to see the hospital’s personnel files but Cawley refuses. That night, Teddy has strange dreams about his wife, Dolores (Michelle Williams), who died in a fire two years before. She tells him Rachel is still on the island, as is Andrew Laeddis, the man who started the fire.
In the morning, they interview patients from Rachel’s group therapy sessions, one of whom passes Teddy a warning to run. Teddy explains to Chuck the real reason he took the case: after being transferred to Ashecliff, Andrew Laeddis disappeared. When Teddy investigated, he met a former patient who claimed that the facility was performing human experiments. Rachel is finally found near the lighthouse but when returned to her cell she is unresponsive to Teddy’s questioning. He eventually finds George Noyce (Jackie Earle Haley), the man who told him about the experiments. George says that the whole situation is a game for Teddy’s benefit and that he is afraid of being taken to the lighthouse.
Teddy tries to reach the lighthouse and discovers a cave where the real Rachel Solando (Patricia Clarkson) is hiding. She was a doctor at Ashecliff until she found out about the experiments and was committed as a patient. She explains that the hospital is using psychotropic medication in an attempt to master mind control, with the goal of creating sleeper agents for use in the Cold War. She says that Teddy has been similarly drugged since he arrived on the island.
Teddy finally makes it to the lighthouse and finds Cawley waiting at the top. The doctor reveals that Teddy is actually Andrew Laeddis. He murdered his manic depressive wife after she drowned their three children, and then created a fantasy where he was a hero to cope with the pain. He invented Rachel Solando as part of his delusion. He has been under the care of Dr. Sheehan, the man he thought was Chuck, for two years. Sheehan and Cawley decided to try a roleplay experiment, allowing Andrew to live out his delusions in an attempt to bring him back to reality.
Andrew’s memory comes back and he makes peace with his past, but later, while talking to Dr. Sheehan, he once again refers to him as “Chuck”, indicating that Andrew believes he is Teddy and that the experimental therapy was unsuccessful. Dr. Sheehan silently indicates to Dr. Cawley the failure of the experiment. Andrew asks Dr. Sheehan if he thinks it would be worse to live as a monster or die as a good man and walks away with the orderlies to prepare for a lobotomy.
Motions
Motions by Matthiew West. I love this song. I heard it at a concert they had had at Graceland, but the words had been so distorted. They had sang it so loudly for the size of room they were in, but even distorted it was really good. I’d forgotten all about it until I heard it on the radio the other day and decided I had to get it. Its just one of those songs that when you hear it, you have to play it over and over until every notes memorized. Which is pretty much what I did. Haha.
This might hurt, it’s not safe
But I know that I’ve gotta make a change
I don’t care if I break,
At least I’ll be feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of life
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”
No regrets, not this time
I’m gonna let my heart defeat my mind
Let Your love make me whole
I think I’m finally feeling something
‘Cause just okay is not enough
Help me fight through the nothingness of this life
‘Cause I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”
take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (’cause I don’t wanna go through the motions)
take me all the way (I know I’m finally feeling something real)
take me all the way
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”
I don’t wanna go through the motions
I don’t wanna go one more day
without Your all consuming passion inside of me
I don’t wanna spend my whole life asking,
“What if I had given everything,
instead of going through the motions?”
take me all the way (take me all the way)
take me all the way (I don’t wanna go, I don’t wanna go)
take me all the way (through the motions)
take me all the way
I don’t wanna go through the motions
Burnout
Burnout has two meanings this week for me. I’m burned-out on typing this week after my laptop shut off on me, with no reason, and I lost five and half pages of typed out work. Usually my typing programs save it for me if something unexpected happens, and will come back up the next time I open that program. Well, this time, it decided it would open all the documents I’d been using at the time of the shut off, EXPECT for the one I was really working hard on. I was glade it’d saved the other seven, but those were just fun typing pages that probably wouldn’t lead to anything, while the one that didn’t save was on The Birth, which I’d really been working on lately. Over five-thousand words down the drain… I was so pissed, I called my laptop a very bad word that I don’t use very often, shocking my mother. She ignores my cussing, but the F-bomb is kind of hard to ignore. Haha.
The second meaning of burnout for me this week, is the more literal meaning of it. My Papa and I were in town, he was taking me for another ride around so I can get more used to driving in town, dealing with traffic, and the occasional stupid driver. Well, I usually only ever run into a stupid driver when I’m with mom, but today, Papa and I got a very big shock. We were sitting at a light. It’d just turned red on us and I stopped, just like you’re suppose to. The people in the lane beside me stopped as well, even the people on the opposite side stopped. Papa was explaining to me why it’s better to catch a light then it is to have to pull out through two lanes of coming traffic. I was listening intently while I was staring at the red light, waiting for it to turn. I just happened to look over to the opposite lane of traffic at that moment when a red van came racing toward the stop light. I figured it was going to stop, especially since the light was red, and a black car was already pulling forward, off the ramp, coming from the highway. Well, I was sorely wrong. The van ran the red light, smashed into the side of the front end of the black car, then came barreling toward Papa and me in the truck. My first instinct was to press the gas and get out of the way, but I wouldn’t have been quick enough. But luckily, the driver of the red van seemed to be able to get control of his van when it went over the cement raise between the lanes and turned the nose of his car so that it missed the truck by just a few inches, then it was about to hit the white care behind us, but was able to miss it as well and run back over the cement raise and stop. The can and car were both smoking from where they’d made contact. The wrack hadn’t been to bad, the guy in the black car was alright enough to open his door and pick of a few of the pieces of his door that fell to the ground. He wasn’t injured, but he was probably very shaken up, and if I were him, MAD. Papa and I didn’t stay long enough to see if the guy in the red van got out, the light had turned green and we went on to Wal-Mart. Papa hadn’t seen the wreck, he’d been looking away. He’d assumed it had been the black cars fault, I’d quickly corrected him. The guy in the black car had done NOTHING wrong.
I tell you, I will never forget the sound of the metal of the cars colliding and the sight of the metal flying. I’d been in wrecks before, so I knew what they felt like, but I’d never seen one, especially not as it happened. Man, I knew people were stupid, but not stupid enough to run into something with their car when they can SEE it.
On a funny note, I got some things for my Grandma in Wal-Mart. There was a child in the chip isle, sitting in the car, with her mother standing beside it, looking at the chips. She’d looked at me, then at her mom, then back at me and pointed at me.(man, I’ve gotten weird looks because of the way I dress, but never pointed at, haha) The only question she had about me was, ‘Mommy, is she the mommy?’ Man, I swear-that kid had to be at least nine or ten. I can’t believe she could look at me and honestly think I’m a mother! It was rather insulting. But, apparently, for her, anyone in a store with a cart is dubbed a ‘mommy’ by this child, no matter what they look like. I mean, I don’t look like a mother, and hell, I’m not old enough. Plus, I had no child in my cart. I have no idea where’d she get the idea of asking such a question. I didn’t wait to hear what the mother would say to her question, I got out of that isle as quickly as possible because the child looked like she wanted to direct her next question at me instead of about me. And I really didn’t want to answer such a stupid question. My mom got a kick out of that when I told her.
Your Love Is My Drug
Your Love Is My Drug by Ke$ha. Jeez. It took me forever to find this on YouTube because I spelled her name as it should be, Kesha. But I got nothing. You actually have to put the $ in where the S is if you want to get her. Apparently they don’t count it as her, or being right, without that damn dollor sign. I love this song, though. Despite the hard time finding it. Haha. I don’t usually like songs like this, but her lyrics flow so well. And she ryhmes a lot, which makes it even better. I love songs when they ryhme. Her voice sounds very different in this one, then in Tik Tok and Blah Blah Blah because she doesn’t rap as much. She actually sings the lyrics instead. But gosh, her voice sounds almost the same as Katy Perry in parts of this song. Maybe I’m just imagining it. But for me it really does.
Really neat fact about this post is, I’M AT THE ACADEMY! I was able to connect to the internet with my laptop while I’m on studying break, and since I don’t have anything to study, I’m making this post. I find that kind of funny.
Maybe I need some rehab
Or maybe just need some sleep
I got a sick obsession
I’m seein it in my dreams
I’m lookin down every alley
I’m makin those desperate calls
I’m stayin up all night hopin hitin my head against the wall
What you got boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
Im all strung out my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind!
Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Wont listen to any advice
Mommas tellin me I should think twice
But look into my own devices, im addicted its a crisis
My friends think ive gone crazy
My judgments gettin kinda hazy
My steeze is gonna be affected if I keep it up like a love sick crack head
What you got boy, is hard to find
I think about it all the time
Im all strung out my heart is fried
I just cant get you off my mind!
Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
I dont care what people say
The rush is worth the price I pay
I get so high when your with me
But crash and crave you when you leave
Hey, so I got a question
Do you wanna have a slumber party in my basement?
Do I make your heart beat like an 808 drum
Is my love your drug? your drug?
Huh, your drug?
Huh, your drug?
Is my love your drug?
Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Because your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Your love your love your love is my drug
Your love your love your love
Hey, heyy, sooo
You love, your love your love, is my drug
(She says) I like your beard
Sixth Day Back
Jeez, sick again. Sucks. I can’t decide if I caught it at the Academy or not. A few of them had the stomach flu, Wesley was sick last week, and Tessa was sick this week. So, could have been lingering sick, or could have caught it fresh. Not sure.
Today’s post shall be brief-if it’s actually possible for me to sum something up briefly.
Took a test in Creative Writing, not sure how I did yet. I’ll find out this Monday. Hope I did well. Wesley won’t take his till next week since he didn’t come last week because he was sick. We also covered outlining of stories. I already knew how to do this one, haha. I was apparently the only one.
Sarah gave me back the story I had turned in last week to see what she thought. I didn’t think it came out that well, but Sarah said it was really good, and that wasn’t even my edited version! My edited version was actually longer, and the descriptions are better to.
I was able to connect to the internet during study hall, so I went crazy with that. First I sent some resources to Max on Tribal Wars. He was lucky he had time to inform me he needed some before classes started, or else he would have waited till I got home to get them. Instead, he got them as soon as HE got home. Haha.
We all got our lunch ready and went to Literature Discussion. We’re suppose to eat lunch in class for the next three, now only two, weeks to make up for the one class we missed. Well, Shannon got caught up in a conversation and forgot about that, but we all had a blast. So I don’t know if those twenty minutes will still count for our class, or not, since we didn’t talk about the book. We actually got a new student, Joshua. He started this week since we started a new book and he wouldn’t be in between anything.
We’re on The Witch of Blackbird Pond now. I didn’t hear Shannon right last week, so I only read the first three chapters, which is what I thought she had said, but it turned out we were suppose to read the first eight. Max only got the first seven read, and Samantha hadn’t read any, because she hadn’t gotten her copy of the book yet. Sam and I both agree, this book is deathly boring!
In Speech we all get to pick a short story, or a excerpt from a novel that we like, and we get to do a speech on it, as well as read whatever we pick in that speech. What we pick has to be able to fill at least five minutes. What we pick also has to be something classic, not just anything. Lidia has us read from books she had brought so that we could get used to telling stories. Being able to give different voices for different characters so we wouldn’t have to say ‘she said’, ‘he said.’ Lidia said she’s really going to have to work with me, because I couldn’t do the different voices. I can’t really change my voice to much. If I try going to high, my voice creaks and if I try going to low, it hurts my throat, so… I don’t know how I’m going to do different characters.
We didn’t have spelling club this week, instead it’s going to be next week, and Chess club is going to be put off till the week after that.
And then we get to go bowling this Friday. Granted, grandma said Robert and I have to be feeling better. She doesn’t want us spreading germs. But I’m so hocked up on medicine right now, I feel high. I don’t even feel sick, except my nose won’t stop running, and I feel stuffy. Should be all cleared before Friday, I hope.
Great thing about this Creative Writing class is, because of all the stuff we’ve been doing and learning about writing, it’s all gotten me writing on one of my stories again. I’ve already added over ten-thousand words to my ‘The Birth of a Night Flower’, which has made mom happy, since it’s her favorite that I’ve been writing. Hopefully, if I keep this up, I’ll have it finished before this fall. Yay!
Squeaky
Sharp Shoot's 